i think.. it's the first birthday I've ever cried. it's a really horrible feeling.Something, i shouldn't be feeling if i was loved. im left alone, again.
it's only 1am. just an hour after and i am really unhappy. unhappy with the things in life, unhappy with the fact that things always don't go in the way i'd like it to be. i can't seem to please everyone. i can't seem to make a stand for myself, to do what i think it's right. i simply love them all too much to hurt a party.
i do wonder at times.. izzit fate or izzit meant to be? am i just unfortunate or am i just someone lousy to be with?
if someone says he loves me, how would i really know it's true?
if someone says he'd never make me cry, should i really believe him?
i really can't understand myself well, why am i still the one in tears?
ironically, ppl say the happiest day in a year would most likely be your birthday. for me, it ain't. not now. not today.
i had a suprise.
i had one.
guess i don't deserve, do i?
Get well soon b :)
i miss u.
I've watched transformer!! *wee!!*
Tis morning im feeling rather emo-ish. Ish. Ish. ish. Woke up with an aching body. N i got a semi-sore red eye.
N tat's just the begining.
DRAGGED myself to the bathroom n started washing up. Realised i had 2minor cuts on my arm n leg. *ouch*
can't wear my contacts coz my eyes r still sore. Ish.
came down to the kitchen, mom was being emo too as my stupid sisters want each other's life at six in the freakin morning. Double ish.
n being the cheery on top of the ice cream, there's full of shit in me still.
To whoever out there, pls understand n not kacau the pmsing gurl. Yes, im having pre-menstrual-syndrome too :)
i'd bite.
seriously.
Honestly i wouldn't think i'd discover something new today.. It revolves around one's behavior, particulary being selfish.
it might not b the right word for tat individual or for some parties but i truely believe selfishness is only the explainable explanation.
ain't no matter if tat person's someone u know for a long long time or a person tat u knew 5min ago.. Selfishness is within one's self n it can only be seen..
if
we pay attention.
=)
OMG. Some random guy's plucking out strands of mustache(s) with 2 ten cent coins.
please spare me god. It's irritating enough to be stuck in a massive jam n NOW u torture me with a man who is STILL plucking his you-know-what more intensively now, despite the fact tat im finishing this post.
spare me god.
SPARE ME.
*eyes rolling*
Quote of the week
'Too much love makes you sick'
My parents.
I caught a flamenco performance yesterday in the dewan philharmonic theater.. Went as an 'oba-sang' with four young pretty gurls.. N of course b. Haha.. He's quite the odd one, as he doesn't dance.. But i have to admit, he looked good in formal
*wink*
im really glad he agreed to go.. To b there holding me while i limp back to the car (i've got four blisters- orange heels. LOL.)
it meant so much to me, thanks b =)
anyhoo.. The performance was all right.. It's quite amazing when they combine a few simple things in life.. Say.. Guitars, tapping feet, clicking fingers, clapping hands n singing.. It sounded good tho i didn't understand a word they sang.. Mayb just maria n OLEH ! XD
overall, nice experience to share with my b. Hehe.. Seeing him bore to death while still trying hard to keep his eyelids open. I can get use to that cute face XD
Didn't managed to sleep well last night.. Some stuff happened with b n i.. Really minor but still.. :)
ali was having a hard time sleeping after watching slumdog millionaire.. She was freaked out with the making-poor-boy-blind-part. Guess she's worried tat it might happen to her.. Poor ali. So last night, she squeezed with me on my bed-very small single sized.. I held her hand until she slept.. While i stayed half awake..
Thinking.
drifted to a dreamless sleep at last but woke up at five with a tummy ache. Woke up again at six, seven n now eight.
lucky me?